I now do all of my promotion by psychic induction. It’s an incredibly clean and unintrusive method of advertising which requires absolutely no monetary investment, and can be accomplished from the comfort of my own home. I simply concentrate on the psyches of prospective readers until a vein pops out on my forehead, and then I implant the idea of buying my book in their subconscious. Sometime later—it could be a day, a week, or maybe even a year—they get the sudden inspiration to seek out my work without ever having heard of me before, and I rake in the profits. Cha-ching!
There is one unfortunate side-effect. Nothing to worry about really. The heads of unsuspecting bystanders occasionally explode, but you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
Originally posted in response to a question about author self-promotion in forums.
Someday, I’ll figure out why 60% of my jokes are Scanners related.